The art of loving yourself
“The fact that someone else loves you does not save you from the project of loving yourself”
How to fall in love with oneself? This has been a question I ask myself lately. The art of solitude is complicated and paradoxical, few dominate it, and yet almost all of us have ever felt alone.
How is it possible that having so many people in the world are still able to feel alone?
Something I discovered during my travels, is that it does not matter the culture, the country, the situation or context of the place where I was, I could always find someone feeling alone, will it be a constant of our times? So many distractors to avoid realizing our own gaps and take them as a creative opportunity.
Deep down I think we have lived so distracted from ourselves that we do not know each other, when we are in silence and loneliness we feel bored of life, this is something that has been happening to me lately, I do not know if it is called the crisis of the 30’s or a mere emptiness proper to the human being.
Then by chance came to me a text that said something like “the art of solitude”, which among other things made me question about why I had been feeling like this, would it be that I was running away from something inside of me? and the circumstances of life force me to see him face to face, because it did not matter what he planned, life always took care of putting me in situations of extreme loneliness, it was like an event that had been repeating itself lately and I was crying out to turn to see it .
Tulum is a charming town, where in addition to finding a paradise beach and many good places to eat and drink, is the ideal place to find yourself, because life here is that of a town, there is not even a cinema where you can hide from yourself, you will have to face yourself or yes, or at least this is what happened to me.
Then, already finding myself in the midst of those tasks, began a search that ended in myself, falling in love with my own existence was the key, but how do I fall in love with my existence? With what do you eat that? Is there a recipe? ? I searched all Google for the answers, however I did not find any tailored to my questions.
The task of falling in love with oneself is difficult especially when you did not have a similar pattern in your parents, if your mother was a woman with little confidence in herself, surely that was what she transmitted to you, if you had an absent father , Where could you take the male figure ?, then my task was complicated.
I started by realizing that the task of loving oneself and falling in love with your own existence is a construction that takes time, and is being put together day by day, with every little detail, every thought counts, every forgiveness towards oneself is also important, for the decisions not taken, or the wrong ones taken, that somehow they must count as a star if you learned something from that, right?
Patience and love is essential in this task, if in your case (as in mine), I did not know that I was passionate, then it is a good time to start as soon as possible with the “search” but beware, remember that it is internal . There is always a voice that says “it’s out there”, suddenly one must be attentive and willing to drop all the external construction.
I realized that in the small details is the pleasure, sitting down to write for example, it has become my therapy, suddenly thoughts start coming out that otherwise could not have come out, so maybe it happens to you, when you start a new Hobbie that you did not know you liked, you will be adding love to your life, and with every little detail they will make little by little a collection of reasons to fall in love with your existence.